Can really use some guidance right now!

If there’s anybody that can relate. Please try to help me. All I ask is that you give the time to read this and then maybe try to give your input. I’ve been going through a lot. So damn much and it’s getting really hard to wanna be here. I’ve studied a lot about the mind and controlling it and idk. That’s not the point. Today since I woke up to now. Almost 10 hours. I’ve just been crying and breaking down non stop. Overthinking and overthinking and driving myself insane. I caught feelings for a girl that’s also one of my good friends and it’s been stressing me out because I’ve tried everything to avoid this happening and it’s almost like it was inevitable. I’ve talked to so many people about this and it’s gotten insane. I’m losing my shit. It’s driving me absolutely insane. And it’s like I know what I should do. But I can’t control how she’ll receive it. And because of that. I get scared because I can’t lose her as a human being also. I wish this typa stuff was easier. This whole day I wasted. I couldn’t focus on school work or anything because all I could think about was this situation. I spent my day formulating realities that could never be true and mentally destroying myself by living in them. And I just want this shit to be over. Every weekend it’s the same shit. Something new pops up and I’m really trying to keep my sanity and composure. I always try to spread positivity and positive energy and love and at the end of the day this is what I feel like. It sucks. And it’s over all this dumbass 3rd dimensional shit. I’m really trying to get better and I’m trying to progress and I’m trying to meditate more to really get an understanding and I haven’t been able to meditate for a while. And maybe that’s the problem here? Ive let my mind regain its power to destroy me again? Idk. But I’m constantly overthinking and overthinking and it’s like an infinite loop of thoughts and it’s getting scary and I really. To be honest. Wanna end it all. But I know there’s so much more then this. I just need motivation. Please can someone help me. Or give me a little insight or something. Love and peace to you all. Sorry if there was any typos, I just really needed to get this out quick. I’m sorry if I’m improperly using this reddit. But I’ve tried to help others who have done the same and others have helped me with things. And I’m just hoping that I can once again. Get some guidance! Love you all ❤️

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