I want to at least have an idea of what's going on with my brain. Google symptoms isn't all to helpful, so I just want to be pointed in the right direction so I can see what I can do for myself. Any suggestions are welcome.
I have generally 3 mood states. They can swing between each other with or without reason.
My default is neutral. I'm apathetic about most things and things don't really bother me. I think this is my genuine personality.
Next is a depressed mood. I'm way more pessimistic, skeptical, and cynical. I have almost no motivation and I'm just tired. I sleep more and feel guilty about it. I barely move or do anything. I get antisocial and I isolate myself. It usually devolves into suicidal thoughts and stays that way for a bit.
Lastly is really happy. It's almost the complete opposite of the depressive mood. I become trusting and motivated. I sleep less and try to stay up as late as possible (bc I dislike sleeping). I want to move and I get really social. I make more jokes and I try to talk with everyone. If no one is available, they're probably just busy.
It's weird I can switch between those, and it's weird going from beyond sad to beyond happy in a few minutes, or vice versa. Neutral usually kicks in after I go to sleep, but my mood can swing to it too.
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