I am currently a junior majoring in microbiology and minoring in music performance. This semester has been the worst one of my life, mentally and academically. I am not even taking any classes in my major, the only science courses I am taking are Organic Chem 2 (with lab) and Biochem. The rest are music classes (and TA'ing for cell biology). Anyway, this semester has been the worst of my college career, both mentally and academically. I have no motivation to do any work. I have random pains in my chest from time to time. I keep forgetting things and I find myself zoning out for minutes at a time. For instance, I have a biochem exam tomorrow but I just gave up on studying because I cannot seem to care about it anymore. I also have an Ochem exam on Thursday that I am nowhere near prepared for. Of course, this not studying leads to me feeling extremely guilty for not caring about my grades and education enough to study.
It feels like I just cannot catch a break. Whenever I don't have an exam, I either have things to do like grading, practicing my instrument, clubs (I'm an officer for two clubs and in a sorority)… the list could go on. There is always something I feel like I should be doing and I hate that feeling.
I was so determined to have a good school year, but I would be surprised if I ended any of my classes with an A. It is likely that I will have straight Bs for the first time. I would like to go to a good graduate school, and the thought of seeing this horrendous semester makes me even more anxious. Yet the more anxious I get, the less I want to do my work. I just feel terrible because I know many other students have much more demanding schedules and seem to do so well… but here I am struggling with my course load.
I just want this semester to be over. I am miserable and no one knows it.
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