disconnected from spirituality? what do i do?

i used to be an atheist but after my father passed away, my perspective shifted as i kept hoping and looking for signs of him. i soon realized that everything is energy and vibrates at its own frequency and that we are eternal beings and i felt love and light and content for the first time in years of having depression. i started cleansing my negative thoughts and challenging and replacing them with positive ones and learning not to judge others and how to surrender to life. i felt so good and was learning so much and i felt so connected to the universe and nature, but i slowly started to slip away from it and back into depression. now i just don’t have the energy for things like journaling and my thoughts have gotten pretty negative and i am feeling hopeless about things like my career and future.

i guess i just need some guidance about what this could mean. is it possible to go back to that feeling of connectedness and content and love and light from where i am now? if so, how hard will it be to get there? i struggle with motivation for nearly everything at the moment and i think that is leading me to feel stuck and depressed.

i apologize for this post being on the negative end but if anyone can help me or share their perspective on this situation i would appreciate it

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