How Did You Rediscover Your Motivation?

Dear Reddit Users,

Lately, I have been experiencing feelings of fatigue that are inhibiting me from feeling or acting like a semi-functional human. I drag myself out of bed to make it to classes (most of the time), both of my two jobs, and then crawl back home to curl into bed each night. Taking a shower has even gotten to point where it feels like a chore. My willpower to complete assignments is dwindling down to nothing, as is my ability to keep face at my jobs. I leave my apartment each morning and will not return for another 12-15 hours at least on somedays. I have so many ideas and goals, but it feels like I have all but completely lost myself in the stress of my everyday life. Some background on me would be that I have struggled with feelings of depression and anxiety since I was a young teenager, and am now in my early twenties. With that being said, for a long time I was really able to strive in my stress. For years I worked these same type of schedules while completing my Associates, but now as I am on the cusp of receiving my Bachelor's degree I feel out of place and seem to question everything I have come to. I have recently changed my major plan, but I am still questioning my ability to complete this path I have started. As I did with my original major plan. It's a disappointing feeling when you put so much time and money into your schooling only to realize later that you are not where you feel you should be. I find myself working so much that weeks will pass me by before I realize how long it has been since I have seen friends and family members. As of right now, it really feels like I am doing all of this work and the only results I am obtaining are dramatic hits to my mental health.

I do not want to spend my hours laying in bed feeling unable to move anymore. My new response to stress has become an overwhelming feeling of sleepiness and numbness. I want to learn how to strive in my stress, not drown in it. This isn't something that friends, family, or coworkers seem to understand, no matter how I try to explain it to them. I feel like I come off as lazy or whiny when I do try to share this feeling with others. I love to exercise, read, cook, spend time with friends and family… As of lately, though, these things I have always loved feel a million miles away. As does finding the will to find those pieces of myself again.

I want to rediscover my motivation to take care of myself again… My motivation to work towards the goals I have set in place for myself. The motivation to feel healthy and happy again, instead of feeling isolated and numb. So I am posting on here in hopes of finding other individuals that have experienced and overcome this kind of mentality/state of being. Any advice on how some of you have overcome feelings similar to this would be much appreciated.

Thank you,

M

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