I can’t see any other options

I am severely depressed. I was diagnosed and medicated for ADHD back in November of 2020, and then successfully tapered off of my antidepressants (SNRI- Vortioxetine). Then, this year in June, I had a severe relapse and attempted my own life via overdose.

My psychiatrist tried mirtazapine, then I tried Olanzapine for my severe insomnia, but the weight gain from both of these medications really effected me so under my Dr’s guidance I came off of them. I am now on week 3 of trying Paxil (paroxetine) and I just feel so insanely empty.

My partner, whom moved in in April of this year, is currently in private inpatient care for his mental health. I am glad he is seeking the professional help he requires but I don’t trust myself alone in my flat.

I don’t have the option of being admitted (or, my Dr has never mentioned it nor recommended it) as I have pets to take care of. I was full time working until July and now on unpaid sick leave. My parents are supporting me while I find my feet again.

I have no motivation to do anything. I don’t eat meals, I self harm frequently, I don’t shower, I struggle to live.

I’m just exhausted of living in this body and in this mind. I have done research and prepared a fatal dose of beta blockers and I just stare at it all day. I don’t know what other options I have left.

submitted by /u/lenarose01 [link] [comments]

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