I literaly can’t do anything and it’s going to fuck my life up. Please help me… I’m 17 and I have no idea where to reach out or to whom.

(First of all, sorry for the many typos that I could have left out. I'm French and my english is far from perfect. Thanks for reading anyway)

Here is the thing : I have so much things to do. Homeworks, important papers to write, big presentations to do, emails, making a portfolio, a motivation letter, and so much more… And I can't do any of it.

I am ABLE to do it. I WANT to do it. I am HEAVILY stressed by it, I have trouble sleeping, and I'm always thinking about all the stuff I have to do. But I just can't do it. I know it sounds stupid, and it is, really, but I can't do anything. I procrastinate all day. Even easy things that I love, like drawings or writing, I can't do it. I want to… But I just can't, or don't. I don't know. I guess I feel like I can't until i've done the big things. Which I don't.

I'll lay in my bed for hours, unable to relax, thinking about how much I have to do important stuff. Hating myself for not doing it. Stressing so much. My desk is a few inches away, my books, my pen and computer are too. But even getting up and getting this stuff seems impossible. And so easy at the same time! It's such a simple thing to do. I know that. But… I don't do it. I'm so sorry.

I don't have depression. I often have days where i'm really sad and unhappy, but it's been getting better and I really don't have depression. I'm just… A serial procrastinator, I always kind of was, but in the end I could always manage and I didn't even realised it was a problem.

Now, when I'm at my best, I start stuff at like, midnight, the day before it's due, and I pull an all nighter. At my worst, I just don't do it.

Am I just lazy ? What is my problem? I'm in high school and my fucking future is at stake. And yet I spend all day doing NOTHING -while in a huge amount of stress.

Please, if you have any advice or idea on what I could do, or what is wrong with me… Tell me, please. I could really use some advice. I can't keep this going on for my entire life, but it really looks like that's what's going to happen.

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