Recently I have been feeling like everything I have been doing is kind of for nothing? I'm a junior in college, majoring in Education, and have a (part-time) job. Everyday I wake up and do the same thing over and over, just different variations of it and it's slowly driving me insane.
Even though I know my life is in a weird transition spot right now, I can't tell if I'm excited for my future or not. I keep realizing that the career that I'll most likely end up in, while being highly rewarding, isn't something I see myself doing for the rest of my career. School is tough, it's a constant cycle of being anxious, stressed, and burnt-out, but yet, I am grateful for being in school because I know not everyone has this opportunity. I keep telling myself that everyday I have the option to do something new and exciting, but then I wake up, do homework, nap, go to work, come home, eat, watch tv, and go to bed, just to wake up and do it all over again. I keep trying to do new things or meet new people, but it takes me forever to find the motivation and courage to get out of bed to actually do that. This mentality has been very tough and has made my anxiety increase a bunch, just because I'm scared I'll never feel satisfied with my life.
I want to be able to travel and thought about studying abroad for my masters, and the possibility of doing that was so exciting to me! But as soon as I looked into it, I realized that it wasn't realistic for me right now and now I'm back to square one lol. I just want to travel, experience new things, meet new people, not be tied down to one place or job, and truly love life.
I know a lot of people can relate to this feeling but sometimes it feels like I'm the only one out of the people that I know who feels this way. There are good days and bad days, but recently I've been having more bad than good. I know that laying in bed doesn't help but, most days it's really all I feel like I can do because of how busy I am with school & work.
Idk if this post made much sense but I hope this finds someone who can relate and not feel so alone. 🙂
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