So, my issues have started to snowball. I thought I was getting better. Turns out I was wrong. I only got like 2 hours of sleep last night. Not because I didn't want to sleep, but because I was afraid that when I tried to my mind would go to places I'd rather it not go. So I forced myself to stay awake as long as I could. I was exhausted during the school day today. Speaking of school, my grades have slipped. I used to be the type of person that would always do homework and classwork. I'm not one of those people who have never recieved a failing a grade before though. I'm not a straight A student. Now though, I never do homework. Class work is hard for me to do anymore. It just seems like it requires so much energy. Also I'll just think: 'what's the point?', realize there is no point, which just makes me not want to do it even more. There's only like 4 weeks left of the semester too, and I'm currently failing english and I'm about to start failing math. I'm a senior, and I know senioritis is a thing that happens to some people, but I think this is more than just senioritis. My friends have started annoying me a lot recently (not intentionally. They don't know I'm annoyed). My (used-to-be) closest friend is one of the people annoying me the most know. I don't even want to talk to them anymore. Though I still have to see them every other day at least. So I don't want to talk to people. I'd rather be alone now. If I do smile or laugh, there isn't really real happiness behind it. Which I don't think anyone else sees. So they see me smile or laugh and think I'm okay. They don't know the battle going on inside. Apparently my parents were looking for a counselor for me. It's been months so I don't think that's happening anymore. No one knows the whole story. No one knows how bad it is right now. Yet I'm too afraid to fully open up about it in person. So they won't know. I don't have the motivation to fix this. I'm falling apart.
Read more: reddit.com