Hello. I am posting because I would enjoy taking some advice. For the past 4 months straight I've lost motivation and feel like I have no energy to do anything including taking care of my hygiene, and i know that sounds very gross and all but, I seriously don't want to get up. I don't want to eat well like I used to, I don't want to brush my teeth 2 times a day like usual. I don't want to do anything at all. My room has been a mess for so long, sometimes I briefly cleaned it (stuffed everything) but it got messy again. Making me more lazy and sad. I love with my parents still and they always commented on it and told me to clean it and asked me why I haven't everyday and that doing so, would make them happier. Which made me feel bad also. So here's the thing I am thinking is the issue. About 3 months ago I stopped talking to someone. I really liked him. I think he was someone I really loved, and I liked him so much I lost interest in every other guy. He was smart, independent, funny, and knew how to read my expressions and caught on fast. He looked out for me a lot too. Listened when I was sad. But in the end I knew we wouldn't work out because I wanted more with him, and he had been seeing other girls. I doubted myself for months. And the first couple months were the harshest. I quite literally cried everyday. Asked myself why it couldn't work out. Now I know he's just an asshole that just wanted to mess around. But still it hurts. At the same time I lost one of my bestfriends. He cut me off and it seemed unreasonable to me and my other friends I explained this too. He cut me off because I did not respond well to his messages. Although my other friend that does the same does that to him too but he said it's okay for her to do it because she makes up for it? whatever that means. And now my bestfriend and closest has a bf and spends all her time with him. And I don't want to be a bother so I don't intrude and we talk weekly now. I also have gotten into a car accident a few weeks ago and it messed up my mental health even more. I remember going out that day, and feeling sad and feeling suicidal. Not that I had any intentions or plans on killing myself but those thoughts were very strong that month. And it's a bit better now. Also at the time I also got a new job which i ended up hating because it was in a bad area and I was constantly worried about my safety and also I did not like how my boss was treating me. I also talked to this other guy who wanted to date me but I did not like him and we argued a lot. And i found it extremely hard to talk to him bc everytime we talked about anything other than sex we would fight. Skipping to now, I've met a really sweet guy. Like I think I like him a lot too. But I feel like I'm being very boring. I think it could be because the last guy i talked to, i didn't open up to him because it would end up in a fight. So maybe that's why it's hard for me to be open to this new guy even though I know he wouldn't judge me? i feel like he thinks I'm boring or something, maybe he doesn't but to me I seem that way for sure. I have no motivation, I respond late most times, but we try to talk everyday. I don't know. How do i find my motivation or energy again? What should I do? I am really feeling sad and hopeless to be honest. Not to mention I have been comparing myself so much to my friends and others.
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