I honestly don’t know what to do. I’m probably significantly older than the average Redditor—early 50s. I’ve got a decent job as a moderately successful lawyer with my own practice. Married for going on 25 years, no kids and never wanted them. Own my own home, free and clear, which is nice. No big health problems or anything of that sort. Family is slightly fucked up, but then whose isn’t? No problems, right?
Well, I’ve struggled with depression and motivation for what feels like about five years now. I self medicate (yep, serious booze hound), and I’ve got those repeated thoughts of not wanting to be around anymore. It’s not that I’m interested in dying, just that I’m not interested in being, if that makes any sense.
I’ve been to therapists in past, including one about two years ago, who gave me a test and said I was normal. That seems kinda sad.
I’m honestly not sure why I’m writing this. Maybe looking for those who are similar if there’s anyone here?
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