After years of depression, derealisation and anxiety, I've spent the last year medicated with an antidepressant, an antipsychotic and a mood stabiliser (recently came off the antipsychotic). I have learned a LOT about myself and have swung between a lot of significant realisations about my perception of the world, approaches in dealing with my emotions and intrusive thoughts, controlling hidden rage, admitting and apologising when I am wrong, accepting myself and others, learning what unconditional love means (and actually practicing it), understanding the nature of things only existing in the moment, etc.
I can say I have changed and I continue to change. Although I still feel insecure sometimes, and occasionally bitter, I am quite happy with the path I am on. There's a few other things I won't go into detail about but…
Many people are of the opinion that when you are on meds, you aren't really "you". That most of your responses and emotions and thoughts are the meds. My boyfriend, for instance, believes that the changes I've experienced as a person are not authentic because they were brought about by the meds and there is thus the question of whether I would've changed the same way had I never been medicated. I don't believe this at all. I understand from my own experience that meds helped me effect the changes I always wanted to effect. They did change other things about me, too (less motivation, less creative inspiration), but my actual personality and how I approach life and other people has been altered for the better. I feel like I flow much easier, and things do not bother me as much as they used to.
What do you think of this? Do you think that self-discovery can be "authentic" when you are medicated?
Better yet – do you believe a person can have a spiritual awakening or even attain enlightenment while medicated? Do you think it would be "real" enlightenment if it were facilitated by a manufactured substance? Or do you believe that one would need to cast off all aides and do it all by yourself for it to be genuine?
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