Why do I always feel tired? Why am I slowly losing motivation to live?

Hello everyone, I'm in need of some help. I've never really reached out for any mental help to anyone before so it would mean a lot if you guys could help.

So starting off, I'm 16 years old and I'm in my freshmen year of highschool, I live with a very religious family and they believe mental illnesses is caused by not having any beliefs of god, that's where it all goes downhill. I am very much gay, and I live in a constant fear of my family finding out that I am gay. I can't tell them I'm depressed because they're just going to shake it off like it's nothing, so from a very young age I learned to bottle up my emotions and just act like everything is okay, but I've noticed that over time I've slowly became unmotivated, numb, and physically tired. I also started having frequent mood swings where I lash out at little things and hating myself. I don't think my life has any value to anyone, I get bad grades in school and I can't even focus on easy tasks. What do I do? I'm starting to think suicide is a viable option, I want it all to be done, I don't want to feel sad anymore, I miss not having to be sad.

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